The Pivot Questionnaire

Inside the Actors' Studio is one of those shows that you either love or hate. Here at CitizenCaine, we're very much in the love camp. After all, what could possibly be wrong with a couple of luvvies chatting about work? At least James Lipton gives his guests the opportunity to shine, rather than hogging the limelight like some other interviewers.

Some of the best guests (apart from MC) have been Donald Sutherland, Robin Williams, The Simpsons' cast, Mike Myers and Billy Crystal, but almost any guest is watchable - apart from Melanie Griffith, who hasn't been able to act in years, due to an unfortunate build-up of plastic surgery procedures.

Often the funniest part of the show is the Q&A at the end, where some of the most in-bred people you've ever seen ask some of the most inane and facile questions you've ever heard. In theory, they're at New School University studying Performing Arts, but how some of them ever graduated kindergarten is really at question.

Anyway, towards the end of each edition, host James Lipton asks his guests 10 questions, known as the Pivot Questionnaire (Bernard Pivot originally devised them for his French TV show Bouillon de Culture). Some guests are more verbose than others in their answers. Michael Caine erred on the side of brevity when he appeared in 1998.

What is your favourite word?

What is your least favorite word?

What turns you on?
My house back in England. My family.

What turns you off?
The malice of human beings.

What is your favorite curse word?

What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of birds in my garden.

What sound or noise do you hate?

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

What profession would you not like to do?
I've already done it - soldier.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?